The Big BJ, A How To Guide

May 29, 2012


Alright, I’ve boasted about my cock whispering abilities enough on my Inside the Strip Club pages.  Its time to shell out.  Don’t worry, the ladies’ side will be coming…sometime.

To give credit where credit is due, when I decided that I was going to give the best blow jobs in the world (I really did decide that BTW), I turned first to the internet.  I found some helpful things.  I also bought an embarrassing book about fellatio that I then forgot that I bought and accused my BF of buying and leaving at my house.  Oops.  It sort of looked like it was meant for a Sex Ed class and wasn’t very helpful though.  I also watched a lot of porn, because, even if their actual skill wasn’t so impressive, guys watch a lot of porn and are expecting something similar.  For instance, I’ve long since learned that just making a sound like you’re gagging on a cock can convince a guy that you’re actually sucking on his cock in the first place (even when you don’t actually feel like doing so).  Imagine the effect when you’re actually gagging on its manly girth or length.  They even seem to like this sound when their little buddy is smaller than a baby dill.  Since these guys must know that no woman is ever actually going to gag on their eleventh misplaced finger, I think it must just be a Pavlovian kind of thing.  They get turned on watching girls gag on porn dudes’ cocks, so when they hear that sound in real life, they suspend disbelief because all the blood shoots rapidly away from their brain. Oh yeah, and my last source.  I practiced.  A lot.  ‘Til I liked it.  ;)

Alright, enough intro and crediting of sources…here’s my 10 tips to giving a man stellar head (of course I’m keeping some of my best secrets to myself like a true cock magician).

1. Don’t be afraid to get it wet.  I personally hate spit, but dry mouthing a cock probably feels exactly like it sounds.  If you need a sip of something, take it.  He’ll thank you in the happy ending.  Some guys are also super turned on by your drool when you’re choking on it, or by actually spitting on it.  So very, very unladylike.  Which is a good thing.

2. Put the pressure on. Use your fingers to put light pressure on the base of his drive shaft.  Experiment with moving this pressure as you suck it into gear.  Experiment with putting the pressure on different parts as you gain or lose speed.  Give it little squeezes and pulses.  (I said little, unless he likes cock rings, don’t actually choke his chicken!). Oh, and despite my analogies, no, it’s NOT a race.

3. Use your lips.  Use your tongue.  Not only can you protect him from unintended nibbling, but you can create suction, add pressure (see above), and softly kiss his member like you love it more than you love him.  Who knows, maybe you do.  Point is, guys like lips.  Especially big full ones around their cocks.  They also like tongues.  And attention to their whole cockal area.

4. If they’re not tied up, add your hands.  While not using your hands while a guy pulls your hair and shoves your face to his balls is visually sexy for a guy and should be thrown into the mix, even he may not realize the full pleasure potential of the hand to mouth job.  For him, there’s the pressure game as listed above, as well as soft caresses, or the fire starting motions of Kundalini and massage techniques.  There’s grabbing his balls, caressing his balls, grabbing his ass…shock (!), there’s even running your finger along his butthole.  For you, this is also a great way to sneak some small breaks for your embouchure to rest and your lungs to refill before you go diving down for more.

5. Men are visual and aural (that means sound related, in case you thought I misspelled oral) creatures.  Make noise.  Look up at him like you can’t wait til he comes all over your face.  Smack your lips.  Pop his cock in your cheek.  Gag.  Say Ahh and slap his dick on your tongue.  Moan.  Rub his cock on your tits (even if you don’t think they’re big enough).  Act like you’re doing it all because you love it and can’t wait for him to explode.  If you’re lying, he’ll see it in your eyes.  Just kidding, he won’t.  Act away.

6. Give a Hummer and guzzle sperm, not gas.  Hum on his cock.  Take a deep breath and hum it out til your face turns blue.  Hum through your lips, through your tongue, vary the intensity.  Become the vibrator for men.   Then stop, switch it up, and come back and hum some more.

7. Prepare.  You could practice playing clarinet to get great jaw, cheek and lip muscles (that’s the embouchure we mentioned earlier), or you could just spend a lot of time playing his instrument.  Those muscles are the distance between you and that cum down your throat self-satisfaction.  You’re also going to want to work on that gag reflex.  Choking on a cock is surprisingly erotic for the one being choked.  Really.  Puking on a cock?  Not so much.

8. Suck it.  Literally.  Suction your lips around the base.  Suck in like it’s a big sugar filled straw (it is!) and pull your mouth up all the way to the tip before breaking the seal.  Smack your lips and spit on it if necessary and repeat.  This is also an almost fool-proof way to get a limp dick instantly un-limped.

9. Switch it up.  If you give the same head for longer than 2 minutes, its likely your man will have completely lost sensation, if not the will to live.  The point of having your mouth down there is partly the unpredictability.  You are not his dominant hand covered in lotion.  You are a very different, very exciting, new wet mouth.  If you switch it up regularly and try new things, you’ll remain that even after the 1 millionth time you’ve sipped his fuck stick.

10. Pay attention.  Being the anything whisperer is about listening, watching and reacting to that thing’s behavior and body language.  Same goes for pricks.  Watch if they’re getting harder or softer, look up to see if your man is in another world, or twitching like he wants to help himself out.  Let him help himself, if needed, to see what he likes.  Ask.  Not all men are created equal.  One guy I knew liked his cock bitten.  Hard.  Clearly not on everyone’s menu.  Check his vitals.  No, don’t feel for his heartbeat (though if you’re really, really good, you’ll learn to be able to through his cock…maybe), but listen to his breathing.  Is that the true vulnerable breathy-ness of a man about to lose his load?  If not, you know what to do.

Now, get the hell off my blog and go to town.  You can cum tell me you love me when he’s done.

2 Responses to “The Big BJ, A How To Guide”

  1. I wanted to thank you for this fantastic read!! I absolutely enjoyed every bit of it.

    I have you bookmarked to look at new stuff you post…

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