What is this?
1. A place where I actually record all the crazy that happens in an NYC strip club. This includes all the dumb shit I do, unlike other ‘edited’ memoirs. Check out Tales From Inside the Strip Club.
2. A place for me to pretend that all that crazy gives me the knowledge to spout advice in my new section, Ask a Stripper.
Who am I?
Name: Juniper (Jooni)
1. Performance Artist
2. ‘Exotic Dancer’
Favorite Color: purple with Emeralds to match my eyes (not the color Emerald actual Emeralds, thank you ::eyelash bat::)
Best Gift to Give Me: a hunter 45′ sailboat (to live on), your readership
Favorite Position: the one where I orgasm and all of my desires and needs are met instead of yours and I don’t have to do the work seducing, faking or pulling my hamstring (please note that that excludes the fantasy that only you and your mediocre ‘talent’ can fulfill my needs…oh and I’m not you ‘effin teacher, figure it out)
Hair Color: blond, red, red with blond, blonde with red…do the carpets match the drapes? Who cares?
Favorite Brand: fuck you
Income Bracket: fuck you
Relationship Status: I won’t fuck you
Where I Live: the hood, I mean that one they gentrified
Hometown: What, are you stalking me? Go to these links instead.