What is this?

1. A place where I actually record all the crazy that happens in an NYC strip club.  This includes all the dumb shit I do, unlike other ‘edited’ memoirs. Check out Tales From Inside the Strip Club.

2. A place for me to pretend that all that crazy gives me the knowledge to spout advice in my new section, Ask a Stripper.

Who am I?

Name: Juniper (Jooni)

Occupations:
1. Performance Artist
2. ‘Exotic Dancer’
3. Writer

Favorite Color: purple with Emeralds to match my eyes (not the color Emerald actual Emeralds, thank you ::eyelash bat::)

Best Gift to Give Me: a hunter 45′ sailboat (to live on), your readership

Favorite Position: the one where I orgasm and all of my desires and needs are met instead of yours and I don’t have to do the work seducing, faking or pulling my hamstring (please note that that excludes the fantasy that only you and your mediocre ‘talent’ can fulfill my needs…oh and I’m not you ‘effin teacher, figure it out)

Hair Color: blond, red, red with blond, blonde with red…do the carpets match the drapes?  Who cares?

Favorite Brand: fuck you

Income Bracket: fuck you

Relationship Status: I won’t fuck you

Where I Live: the hood, I mean that one they gentrified

Hometown: What, are you stalking me? Go to these links instead.

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14 Responses to “What the ?”

  1. Chaya said

    I have a small problem. You’re blog is freaking hilarious and addicting. What have done to me!!??
    And if you follow the link (please do!) before you totally flip that a 12 year old is reading you’re blog, I’m not 12 and Manny is fictional lol.

  2. applejaxe said

    This one is for you my girl :) We stick together.
    I enjoy your blog, here is a special nomination for you. Check it out.

    http://lollipopsandrazorblades.net/2012/06/14/yay-someone-thinks-my-blog-is-lovely/

  3. Anonymous said

    So I spotted your blurb in paddy Reilly’s. Your writing style is a little -ugh- but you have great taste in guiness, or at least someone you know does…….

    Fav tender?

  4. Matt said

    “Where I Live: the hood, I mean that one they gentrified”

    Looking forward to browsing through your blog – and like the above line. Greetings from Haebangchon, my ‘hood in Seoul.

    • Juniper said

      Greetings Matt! I’m actually just in the process of creating a ‘best of’ section for easier perusing…should be up in a couple of seconds. Thanks for coming by!

  5. caroerasmus said

    Hi again!

    Must say, this looks like a genuinely interesting blog to follow :).

    Thanks so much for commenting on mine so I could find this!

  6. I really like what you’ve done with the thmeme but I was asking myself if you are the one that created it or you just bought it and customized it?

  7. ove the site will be bookmarking for future reference. Keep up the good work pal.

  8. Your information Helped me Thanks you Much

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